You Can Hire Professional Mourners
March 22, 2016 in Daily Bulletin
The peer-less writers over at Cracked looked into the business of professional funeral mourners:
- Funerals are sad. Funerals where nobody shows up are even sadder. So family and friends may hire mourners.
- Being able to cry on demand is key. Preparing by watching movies like Titanic and Schindler’s List before the event can help.
- Some women in the business have been known to track their menstrual cycle to determine how difficult it will be to cry.
- Professional mourners have to come up with convincing back-stories to explain why they’re so distraught over an individual’s passing, but have never been seen before by most of the deceased’s acquaintances.
- The actors need to have a working understanding of how people from different religions and cultures commemorate their dead.
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