Eddie Izzard offers us the choice; will we have tea and cake with the vicar, or shall we die?

Most people choose the cake. But just how much cake is one human life worth?

Of course you can’t actually value a human life, but that doesn’t stop insurance companies from trying. According to a recent study based on medical insurance for dialysis, a human life is worth £81,300. And according to Marks and Spencers, one lovely Triple Layer Victoria Sandwich (for the non-brits, that’s a type of cake) costs £17.50. A hint of mathematics later, and we find that a human life is equal to 4,646 cakes.

We’re really not sure what to do with that number. Perhaps advise that all hostage negotiators have some culinary training. Beyond that; we really don’t know.